I have a list.
It’s not what I ate today. It’s not my shopping list. It’s not all the stuff I have to do today. It’s not even of books I want (though I have one of those!).
It’s what I’m looking for in a guy.
Do you have one?
I think every girl has a mental list of what she wants. Blonde hair, blue eyes, 6 feet tall. But what about the other stuff? I want you to help you make a list, right now.
On my list I have three sections:
“Essential” and “Not Quite Essential But Very Much Preferred” and “Preferred but not overly important.”
Having a list with the most important “requirements,” if you will, on it helps me stay focused on the right things when I consider who I want to marry. Not that I have anyone I’ve got an eye on, but when the time comes I want to be prepared.
What is essential and what’s not?
Let’s face it – while some girls like blond hair and some like black, a certain hair color really isn’t something that’s essential in a life-partner.
But how do you decide what is essential? What about taste in music? Doesn’t that need to be the same? Sure, it’s great to have a similar taste in music. But is it a deal breaker? For me, if he only likes secular music, that’s a deal breaker. But we don’t have to like exactly the same artists – I’m flexible in that area. Same with movies – If he loves a bunch of raunchy, R-rated movies, no way! But I’m not going to kick him to the curb if he likes LOTR more than Enchanted. See where I’m going with this?
Spiritual things are very essential!
This should be at the top of your list. The Bible says that we are not to be “yoked with unbelievers.” The passage goes on to say “what does light have with darkness?” And it’s true – light doesn’t have mix with darkness, and Christians should not mix with unsaved people –ESPECIALLY in an important relationship like a spousal one. Number one on my list: Must be saved.
Not only must my guy be saved, but he has to have been saved a while – you know why? So that I can see the fruit of his salvation. I have seen people who will go to church and make a profession of faith, but it’s all for show – because they’re trying to get a girl or guy’s attention, often. I want to be 100% that my guy is saved and loves God and is actively serving Him. Which is another thing on my list – he must be actively serving God.
What other stuff should be on the list?
I put some personality traits that I’m looking for on my list. Like:
-Respectful to elders
-Listens to Christian music
-Good sense of humor
As you can see, there’s a variety things I’m looking for. You can also put things like “likes peanut butter” or “will watch chick-flicks with me” on the list too – if you want it, put it down! But don’t be too picky about what’s essential – make sure you clearly distinguish between essential and non-essential and preferred.
What to do now…
You’ve got a list now? Great! Here’s what you do with it: Pray. Bring your list before God and tell him what you’re looking for in a guy to be your husband. God is preparing someone just for you!
And He’s preparing you for someone, too. I also encourage you to look over the list you made and ask yourself, “Do I meet the non-negotiable requirements?” Because guys have lists, too. Good guys, godly guys, are looking for godly girls. So make an effort to be everything you’d want from your husband. Pray about that, too. Let God shape you into who He wants you to be.
Remember this: the most romantic thing in the world is being so wrapped up in God and doing his work that without even trying, you capture a guy’s attention. Be so devoted to God that the godly guys notice and are intrigued by it – that is a beautiful thing.