We know we’re supposed to go. We know we’re supposed to obey, even the hard stuff. There’s no doubt we should be doing something. So we’ve gotten really good and talking the talk, but not so good at walking the walk. We join the others in saying, “I’m willing to go,” and then whisper softly to ourselves, “just not that far.”
We convince ourselves of one of two things.
1: People will become angry and judgmental if we’re honest with our struggle.
In case you’re not sure, this is false. Of course, our feelings tell us otherwise, but that’s the pesky thing about emotions. They can often be misread and even more often can mislead us.
So we build up the people around us until they’re giants standing over us with a ruler, waiting for us to screw something up. The more we try to vilify the people around us, the more we feel justified in avoiding any sort of “going,” any sort of service or responsibility, and kind of hard obedience. But it’s short lived – and so the cycle continues. Blame others. I’m not the problem.
True Christian brothers and sisters treasure honesty and understand the struggle.
You would be amazed to discover that the very people you’re afraid will dismiss you, belittle you, and discourage you are just waiting to help you, love you, and encourage you. Because we’ve all been there. We all have struggled with surrender. We’ve all battled the big stuff. But you know what else? We’ve all overcome, by God’s grace.
2: God wouldn’t make us do anything we’re not comfortable with, anyway.
Also false. While God isn’t out to make us miserable, He also knows that the things that scare us the most are the things that can drive us to Him. And He is all for that.
You see, while these are things that we can’t do, they are things that He can do. And the beautiful thing is, He chooses to do them through us. When we have faith that God is “able to bless us abundantly, so that in all things, at all times, having all that we need, we will abound in every good work,” then we take that first step. And we discover, you know what? It’s not that far. It’s just a step.
But soon that step leads to another. And another. And another. And before you know it, you’re miles away from where you started. How? Grace. The power God gives to do what God says. He gets the glory (because everyone knows our struggle, our lack, and our inability) and we get the blessing. We are now living a maze of grace.
Where to next? I don’t know. I’m just following one step at a time.
A “yes” here, a “no” there, and giant leap over that hole, and a quick turn to avoid the dead end… Just one step of faith at a time.
In a word: passionate. About Jesus, church, ministry, music, reading, family, friends, and sometimes even iced skinny soy mochas.