Unfortunately, many parents don’t prepare for the inevitable turmoil a child goes through when they hit puberty, and in failing to prepare, they not only are frustrated and overwhelmed themselves, but their children are left to figure things out on their own or, sadly, with whoever in the world will give the advice.
Other times, the parents know it’s coming, but rather than prepare the right way (which we’ll talk about shortly), they prepare the wrong way – they prepare for fights, attitudes, and problems by expecting them, being defensive, and often, making things worse instead of better.
By believing that rebellion is inevitable, parents make the mistake of beginning to excuse it at the beginning stages, feeling it’s not a big deal yet, or even believing it’s just not a big deal. Sometimes they avoid the confrontation simply because they’re too tired or busy, or even afraid.
The worst part of believing that rebellion is inevitable is that it allows parents to excuse their children’s behavior by believing that they can’t help it, it’s normal, or even natural for them to behave in these ways that are, in reality, sinful. And of course, if the parents excuse it, the children will not only excuse it, but indulge it.
Do you want your children to be innocent and pure?
Do you want them to make good decisions?
Do you want them to be trustworthy and responsible?
Do you want them to know what they believe and why?
Do you want them to confident and secure in their identity as your child and God’s child?
Do you want them to love Jesus more than anything else?
If you want to reap beautiful, God-loving adults in the future, you must be willing to take the time and make the effort to invest in from the beginning.
There’s a prevailing mindset of children existing for their parent’s personal pleasure and comfort. We see children as a blessing when they’re convenient and as a curse when they’re inconvenient. Thus we have seen the rise of abortion pre-birth and abuse post-birth. The root of it all is extreme selfishness – the mindset that children for me and my personal pleasure.
To gain a godly perspective on children, we must first understand that our children belong to God and that He has allowed us to have them in order for us to raise them to follow Christ. This is a great responsibility – it is serious, important work. And we must, in turn, take it seriously.
To raise a child is to be more than just present, it’s to be strategic. One day this child that you have been entrusted must make his or her own decision to follow Christ; and in the few years that you have with your child, your job is to prepare him or her to choose Christ over self and over the world.
Divorce begins before a couple is even married. Before a man and woman even exchange vows and rings, most marriages are already in decline. By the time a couple reaches the alter, they’ve already begun to take each other for granted, they’ve already begun to think marriage is going to make them (and keep them) happy. They already believe that it will be easy and effortless, that it will finally complete them. But these are all lies.
Marriage is hard, and a good marriage is even harder.
Chapter 6: Lies Women Believe About Marriage Day 4: The Power of Submission Lie #25: If my husband is passive, I’ve got to take the initiative or nothing will get done. We just learned the importance of submission in marriage, and the responsibility a wife has to encourage, bless, and benefit her husband. But what…… Continue reading The Importance of Failure (LWB)
Chapter 6: Lies Women Believe About Marriage Day 4: The Power of Submission (part 1) Lie #24: “If I submit to my husband, I’ll be miserable.” Once you begin to understand that marriage is about glorifying God, you don’t need to fix your husband, and your job is to make his life easier, then you…… Continue reading A Test of Identity (LWB)
Chapter 6: Lies Women Believe About Marriage Day 3: A Virtuous Woman Lie #23: “My husband is supposed to serve me.” I know it’s been a while, but I’m back! And since it’s been a while, let’s recap what we’ve learned so far about marriage: -Having a husband will not suddenly make me happy and…… Continue reading The Beauty of Being a Giver (LWB)